So this weekend i decided i wanted to have a Christmas weekend.I want to put up the rest of the lights,drink hot cocoa and cranberry sierra mist,watch Christmas themed movies and shows,listen to holiday music, wrap presents,paint a Christmas manicure,and wear pajamas and ugly sweaters:)I plan on watching all the Doctor Who episodes that are Christmas-ish.Hopefully i will get to do this with one of my friends but if i don't that's okay too.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
So I came across a book called Winter Girls. I was on Tumblr and a girl i follow posted something about anorexia. One of the tags was #wintergirls. I thought that was an odd tag so I clicked on it. Apparently This book is quite insane. I read a few passages from it and I now want to actually read it. It's about pair of friends that vow to be the skinniest girls in their school. One girl does this through bulimia and one through anorexia. Since I know people who have gone through(and are still) anorexic it really gets to me. My mom is worried that i will become anorexic because premature children have a tendency to fall into eating disorders. I am actually quite afraid myself because I don't want that to happen to me but I can see how it could happen because I am so insecure about my body. But when I think about it I could never do that to my friends and family. I would never want to put them through watching me slowly kill myself. As much as I want to be thin I will not give into not eating. Watching people I know who did this really helps because I got to see how their lives changed(and not for the better). I want to be healthy and strong and starving yourself may seem like the easy way out but it will get you nowhere in the end.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Well for Thanksgiving this year I am going to try to make Pumpkin Balls. My mom just bought a cake pop machine and I had the idea to instead of making boring regular Pumpkin Bars I would jazz it up make them round and inject them with frosting! I don't know if it will work though. The only downside is that I am dieting and I won't be able to enjoy them. I have been on my diet for around three months I believe and I haven't lost any weight. I have slipped up and ate what I wanted a few times but it's hard to diet especially when everyone around you gets to eat what they want. I want to make eating right a way of life and not a chore. I want to stay determined because I am sick of not being happy with my appearance. I don't want to be obsessive about it but I feel like I am sometimes. I guess my goal is to be able to feel pretty by the time I graduate so I can wear a dress and feel comfortable.
Friday, November 16, 2012
So it's Friday and I'm so happy for the weekend after our little incident at school.i miss my friends but things went better than i expected yesterday.it was more calm and self sufficient. I think I'll be OK as long as no one else abandons ship. On a brighter note i put uo my christmas decorations in my room so when I come home I feel better:)
Thursday, November 15, 2012
how does a person who had a lovely bunch of friends surrounding her at school go on when they dissapear?teenagers look forward to school because they have friends to see. if they didn't it just feels like a lonley prison.they are the times i wish i could go be a traveller so i could leave it all.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
so literally five minutes ago some guy(i think it was a teenager)walked to our house in the pouring rain and knocked on our door.I was scared and didn't answer it.He stayed a couple minutes then left.I now realize that I probably should have done something because now i want to know what he wanted.What was he doing?Why was he here?Why was he walking alone?This will eat me up inside.